Mastore 128 - Dumpster

Magic Realm Convenience Store – Ch. 128

It may be easy to enter as you please, but when leaving...(6)

No, what the hell is this now?

I drank what was supposed to be a honesty potion, so why is my butterfly-catching kiddo self popping out? Did I get the potion vial by mistake?

"But why are you here, Mister?"

“No. Hey, kid. You said your name was Lee Chan, right? Which Chinese character is that 'Chan'?”

"The 'Chan' that means bright."

"How do you write it? Can you write it if I bring a pen?"

“I don’t know any Chinese characters?”

“Dammit.”

It really did seem like this kid was me. At this age, I didn't know how to write my name in Chinese characters. Plus that black mop of hair and that jaded expression like he's already lived a full life.

The butterfly net slung over his shoulder had a wooden stick taped together with box tape, and I even remember how it got like that. It must have been broken once or twice when I set up to catch cicadas.

“.......”

"Mister?"

…That first time.

When I returned home with the butterfly net split in two, holding the pieces in both hands.

Mom brought out box tape and a wooden stick, and I looked at it and seeing them, I said: where did you get that wooden stick, just buy me a new butterfly net, it only costs 5,000 won.

Even when I threw a tantrum and kicked up a fuss, she didn’t budge. By the time I got tired and collapsed in the middle, she had fixed the entire butterfly net and silently handed it to me. Telling me to give it a swing.

I took it and swung it as hard as I could on purpose. I thought if I managed to break it again, she would have no choice but to buy me a new one.

Yet no matter how many times or how hard I swung, the repaired butterfly net wouldn't break, and I ended up sulking as I went back outside.

Later, I started fixing them myself.

“Hey, kid....”

“?”

“...Chan-ah.”

"What?"

"How many times have you fixed that butterfly net?"

"Six times. Why, are you gonna make fun of me like the other kids for playing with a broken net?"

“No, it’s not like that. Just....”

It brings back old memories. Good memories.

I was about to speak but swallowed the words, then casually took out my phone and switched to the camera. I wanted at least one picture because I didn’t have any more photos of my childhood.

But it was pointless. Even though I aimed directly at my younger self, he didn't appear on the screen at all. Just the night sky, the hotel table, and the bed.

It suddenly dawned on me. This is magic.

The potion for being honest with yourself. Elena said another version of myself would temporarily appear in my mind, and even she didn’t know how it would behave.

It seemed this was how it had manifested. There’s no set rule for how old this other version of me would appear, especially since this potion is newly modified...

This means the kid in front of me doesn't have a physical form. When the effect of the potion wears off, this guy will disappear too.

Whether he knows he’ll disappear or not, nine-year-old Lee Chan just tilts his head in confusion.

“Magic?”

“Yeah. Magic.”

“C’mon, there’s no such thing as magic.”

He didn’t believe it at all. Well, I was eight when I realized Santa Claus wasn’t real.

“Hey, Chan-ah.”

“Mister, sorry, but I’m busy. I gotta go catch cicadas."

"Catching cicadas is your summer vacation homework, right? Writing an insect observation journal."

"Huh? How did you know? Even though you're a mister."

"I have my ways, rascal. Hey, let's make a deal."

“A deal? Mom says not to do that stuff with adults I don’t know...”

"Just talk to me for a bit. In return, I’ll teach you how to catch cicadas."

At this age, I was the kind who would just slam the butterfly net down whenever I saw a cicada, with unremarkable results. After thinking for a moment, he poked the ground with the tip of his net and answered.

“Pay upfront.”

“No, what kind of kid are you?"

"I’ll pay you back for what I get."

"When you see a cicada, don't approach it right away, check around its mouth first. If they’re chewing, they’re drinking sap. That’s when you swing. Got it?"

It was something I had only figured out after summer vacation had already ended. The kid pondered my advice, then shrugged his shoulders and plopped down on the bed.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"About another world."

I wasn’t sure if talking about it would help, but I decided to anyway.

I told him about how I ended up working at the convenience store, meeting Manager, dealing with all sorts of difficult customers, and then meeting various people and becoming friends with them.

Things had been peaceful until now, but some gate or whatever has appeared and everything's about to go to hell. And here I was, shaking in fear.

After finishing the story, I looked down and saw that the kid was looking at me with a half-believing and half-doubting expression.

“Really?”

"What, you think I'm crazy... No. Do you actually believe this?"

"Honestly, I don’t believe it at all. But that doesn’t mean you’re crazy, right?"

I don’t get it. We must’ve had the same upbringing, so why is this kid annoyingly sharp...?

"If you’re saying it’s real, then it must be. Can I go there too?"

"Maybe if you’re lucky. Anyway, let’s say it’s real. What do you think?"

"I’m jealous."

He replied without hesitation, then stared down at his butterfly net and mumbled softly.

"If there was magic or something in my world too, I wouldn’t have to keep fixing this net like this."

Since he was a kid who repaired his net because he didn't have 5,000 won to buy a new one, it makes sense he would think this way. I reminded him of something I had already mentioned.

"I'm telling you, it's not a place to be blindly jealous of. Scary things are happening."

“You say that, but your face doesn't look very scared, Mister.”

“Me?”

"Whatever, never mind."

He was quick to dismiss the subject, but his gaze was sincere. At that age, I never looked away when I believed I was right about something.

Though I can't live that way now. Anyway, I decided to believe him. If I'm not afraid of the gate...

"What am I really scared of right now?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized how absurd the question was. It wasn't a question I had asked expecting an answer in the first place. But an answer came back.

"You’re scared of people in that world finding out who you really are."

"...What?"

"Finding out that from the time you entered society at 20 until now, you’ve only been chased away, that being pointed at and judged was your daily life, and that in the end, you’ve never really accomplished anything."

....A moment.

I thought about it, then answered.

“You really are just magic.”

His expression is calm. He doesn't seem to have any intention of denying what I said.

This kid is also magic in the end. Not the real nine-year-old me, but something from deep within my mind that has taken form.

That's why he naturally knows what I didn't want to talk about. How pathetic and useless I was, and how I had wandered aimlessly for years, never properly fitting in anywhere.

Now I understand why this kid appeared as my self. I didn't want to tell him of all people about this.

"Earlier, you said you wished there was something like magic in your world too, Chan-ah.”

"Yes."

“Strictly speaking, it wasn’t that there wasn’t any.”

Internet café. Karaoke. Gas station.

Loading and unloading, large supermarkets, kids’ cafés, newspaper deliveries, pubs, movie theaters, fast-food restaurants, call centers, moving companies, bakeries, furniture factories, construction work—countless jobs I can't even recall how I managed to do...

From the day after my high school graduation, I started working two jobs a day, taking whatever I could get. But I never really succeeded at anything. I didn’t know how to work because I had no experience, and my social skills were terrible...

I had to rush to catch the bus right after work. There was no time to socialize. Meanwhile, my body was breaking down, and my expression was crumbling.

A few years later, I reached a state where I couldn’t speak or hear a single word anymore. No matter where I worked, I was avoided as the gloomy guy and eventually fired. It never lasted more than three months, sometimes just one.

They were gloomy days. Still, there was a driving force that allowed me to endure.

"You."

“.......”

"For me, you were the magic that helped me endure those tough times."

Even when I passed out from overwork and had to get an IV, even when I was fired after being hospitalized for two days and immediately started looking for another job, even when that became an annual routine.

I was able to endure because of this kid. Because I had once been happy. So if I kept living, someday happy days would return again.

“But if that isn’t this moment right now, then what?”

“.......”

"It's not like I've lived a short time. I've lived 29 years. But more than all the happiness I scraped together over those twenty-nine years, even more than when I thought of you—”

“Yes.”

"...I was happy. This past month..."

I endured all sorts of pain from difficult customers, went through all kinds of bizarre experiences. My plan to just make money and run had long since fallen apart. But.

“This was the first place someone sincerely listened to my story. Where someone thanked me for helping, said they wanted to help me in return, and told me I wasn’t a stranger. All of it."

So I was happy.

Now I can say it honestly. I was definitely happy while living here. But.

“You know it too. I’ve always been the guy who gets chased away. Even when I tried to hold on, eventually my true colors would show. Even when I struggled to seem cheerful, something always blew up.”

"Yes."

“It was always at moments like this. Whenever someone expected something from me and I couldn’t meet those expectations. By the next day, the next week, I'd already become nobody.”

It feels like that moment now. I feel like I need to do something. Do you have any thoughts? Number 44?

“If I fail this too, won’t I just get chased away again? Won’t everything that happened here just become another one of those countless things I walked away from, not because I wanted to?"

That's what I'm afraid of. That even this happy moment here will become just another thing that never happened, like always. That they'll turn into memories that will never return, ones that I can't even keep as photographs.

I wanted an answer to that. Nine-year-old Lee Chan shook his head.

"How would I know? I’m only nine."

“...That’s true.”

"Right? It’s up to you, Mister."

…It’s up to me.

While I was thinking, the sound of cicadas crying came from somewhere. It was 9 p.m. in a hotel room, under the moonlight of a star-filled night sky.

It wasn’t the time or place for cicadas to be chirping. Yet, I could clearly hear them. I didn’t know where this sound came from, but the kid seemed to have an idea.

"I think I have to go, Mister. If I don’t catch them today, my homework will pile up."

It seems like the potion is starting to wear off. I could’ve taken more to keep him here, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was time to let him go.

“Goodbye, Chan-ah. It was nice to see you after so long.”

"Yes... Ah, Mister."

“uh.”

"Do you have anything else you want to say to me?"

I do. He's probably asking knowing that. I thought about patting his head but decided against it. I didn’t want to be the one to make him disappear.

So I just said it.

"Be good to your mother, you punk. Don't regret it later like me."

"Yes."

And then, a moment later, he disappeared in the blink of an eye. I stared blankly at the place where my memory vanished, then crawled onto the bed and lay down.

The ceiling was full of stars, and the temperature was just right. It's been a really long time since I fell asleep looking at the moon.




|Note

I cried so much ugh… It’s just hit too close. I’m still finding my place, but I hope there’s one. Good luck to whoever reading this too.

Consider supporting me by subscribing on Patreon for 5$. 

Advance chapters of Magic Realm Convenience Store Worker : 15 Chapters

Also, consider visiting my patreon to check out my other projects