Mastore 59 - Dumpster

Magic Realm Convenience Store – Ch. 59

Convenience Store Clerk Taking a Practical Exam (4)

First, we came out of the columbarium. It was to have a meeting and to get some fresh air. Noona was about to put a tobacco-free cigarette in her mouth when she spotted a bench and vending machine next to the main gate and asked me.

"Hey, if I get you coffee, will you drink it?"

“Uh... black.”

“You actually drink black?”

I don't usually drink it because it's bitter. But I could use some caffeine right now.

After receiving the coffee from noona and sitting on the bench, I checked the time. It was exactly 7:30. The sky had long since darkened, and the only light source was a single streetlight above our heads.

I took a sip, and it was disgustingly bitter. But it woke me right up, for sure.

“I’ll get you something when we go back to the convenience store, Noona.”

"What do you mean later, it's just a 300 won coffee I'm buying you."

“Isn’t 300 won still money?”

"Ah, fine then, do as you like."

After taking another sip, I organized the information I had heard in my head.

Out of 112 coffins received, we need to find the one coffin containing the bones that had preservative spilled on them. The paperwork was lost, so cross-checking numbers on the coffins wasn’t an option.

The first method I thought of was, can't we just open the coffins with a hammer and check each one individually? If preservatives were spilled, there might be powder stuck to the bottom or something.

"I'm not sure? I'm not an expert in this field."

“Even you don’t know this, Noona?”

"Hunters don’t usually deal with bones. If anything… we’re more about keeping bones from being made."

Even after she says this, I don't understand. Noona took a puff of her tobacco-free cigarette, blew it out into the air, and gave her opinion.

“My guess is… if it were that simple, they probably would’ve done that already.”

"You think so?"

If it were as easy as opening and closing the coffins, they wouldn’t have needed to make this request in the first place. It wouldn't even take a few hours at most. Either there's some special treatment inside the coffins so they can't be opened, or they're thoroughly sealed...

Whatever the reason, there must be a reason they can't open them, so they made the request. In the first place, I don't even have the few hours to open and close coffin lids. Thinking about it now, it seems like a failed plan.

This leaves me with the unpleasant task of figuring out which coffin is the problem just by looking at the outside….

“Noona, something else came to my mind.”

“What is it?”

“We could put on funeral clothes, play the ‘Coffin Dance’ song, and start dancing around with the coffins on our shoulders. What do you think?”

Since some time has passed, the bones should have decayed a bit, so couldn't we distinguish the strange one by listening for rattling sounds?

"And what if the bones break? Are you going to pay for that?"

"I'm just joking..."

I do have a method that really comes to mind. When I explained to Noona, she looked half-believing, half-doubting.

“It does sound plausible, but… can you actually pull that off?”

"I don't know either. I've never done it before."

It wasn't a method I thought of with confidence either. It was just the only idea I had, and we didn’t have much time. I downed the rest of my now lukewarm coffee and stood up.

"If we go with your method, what should I help with?"

“What else? Hold the ladder for me.”

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

* * *

We returned to the room lined with coffins, but the lich director was absent. He must’ve thought this would take a while.

This meant I would have to give a report afterward, but honestly, it was for the best. If someone saw me doing what I was about to do, they would be wondering what the hell I was up to. First, after setting up the ladder I had noticed earlier next to the main entrance...

After extending and opening the ladder fully, I climbed up. Sitting at the very edge, I looked down and could just about see all the coffins laid out below. Noona yelled from the ground.

“Hey, Lee Chan, I just need to hold this, right?"

"Yeah."

Looking down, I recalled the things I have done these past few days. I've erased magic, selectively erased it... even burst a magic wallet brought by the wildcat kobold.

Among those, I'm trying to do again what I did when bursting the wallet.

When I stared intently, the magic tools looked distorted. It would take a long time to check one by one, so I thought it would be much better to look at everything at once from a high place.

I don’t know exactly what kind of preservative spilled inside the coffin, but I’m guessing it’s some sort of magic-related powder. They wouldn’t have sprinkled food-grade seaweed preservative on bones used as vessels for souls.

If I look at it from another perspective... that means the bone in question likely has more magic in it than the others. If the state of the bone is different, then maybe the distortion will look different too?

It was a flimsy theory that I have never verified, but for now, there's nothing else to believe in. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for a moment, then slowly opened them.

It did look distorted. The entire room, actually.

“What the hell…?”

Right, left, front wall, without exception, all the storage compartments everywhere are rippling. Even the coffins on the floor looked like they were swaying. It was like I was standing on a small boat in the middle of a vast, churning ocean. The nausea was overwhelming, as if I had severe seasickness…

After a few seconds, even the side of my head throbbed as if burned. I barely supported my upper body, which was about to fall forward, by grabbing the edge of the ladder.

“Hey! Are you okay?!”

Looking down, Noona was half-extending her hand towards me, ready to catch me if necessary.

"...Got dizzy."

"Dizzy? Hey, Lee Chan. Don't push yourself and come down first..."

"Just a moment..."

I hung my head and blinked a few times. Perhaps because the symptoms came on suddenly, they also faded just as abruptly. After counting a few seconds in my head, I looked around the room again, and the nausea disappeared as if it had never happened.

"I'm a bit better now."

"Better or not, take a break for a moment, will you? You almost fell face first―"

“I saw something, Noona.”

“What?”

I wouldn't do it if I really thought it was impossible. But, I think it's possible.

Reviewing with a clear head, I feel like I saw something amidst the riplling all around. It was definitely on the floor. One of the coffins on the floor.

“What do you mean you saw something? Your life flashing before your eyes?”

"Other than that, I'm telling you there was something invisible. There was an invisible something, I swear.”

Hearing my nonsense, Noona scratched her head in frustration before yelling.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

"I don't know what you saw... but if you think you can do it, try. I'll catch you even if you fall."

She agreed. I pondered with my eyes tightly shut. Is that earlier thing a side effect, or is it because it's my first time and I'm not used to it, or is this really working?

If I keep doing this, will it cause problems for me...

Let's drop it. I thought of just one thing. I didn't walk here on my own two feet to worry about this crap. I came here to get results.

When I opened my eyes, the world distorted again.

Everything twisted and rippled like a heatwave. Even my hands gripping the ladder didn’t feel like my own. Still, it's not as dizzying as before. Yeah, I’m still in my twenties, after all.

I let my head drop and tuned out the shelves on the other walls. I don't need anything else, I just need to look at the coffins on the floor. The one that rippled a bit more compared to the other coffins was clearly in the upper right corner...

I could see something.

“Noona. From where you’re standing…”

"Yeah. From where I'm standing?"

“Move forward three steps, and then it’s the fourth one from the right.”

I didn’t have the energy to take my hands off the ladder and point, so I gave directions like coordinates instead. I tried to say it twice, but Noona rushed out and stopped at the mentioned position after hearing my first words. It was exactly the position I’m thinking of.

“Three steps forward, fourth from the right. This one, right?”

“…Yeah. And then…”

“What? There’s more?”

"Next, from where you're standing, two steps forward, three steps to the right..."

"Hey, do you remember they said there was only one problematic coffin?"

I know that. But what am I supposed to do when I can clearly see it?

Besides the coffin I mentioned first, there are two more places with severe distortion. One slightly, one extremely. I don't know why. Maybe there's a mummy inside instead of bones, or something...

Anyway, it was certainly different from the other hundred-plus coffins. Although puzzled, Noona moved to the position I mentioned, then took out a memo pad from her pocket, tore off a page, and placed it on top.

"I marked it just in case. What's next?"

"And, from where you're standing, second from the far left top. So, from my side..."

"Stop talking and rest. I’ve got it.”

As soon as she said that, I closed my eyes. I felt like I was going to throw up. How long had I been up there? One minute? Two?

What a day. Here I am, a convenience store clerk, doing everything but scanning barcodes. As I'm pressing my eyes with my back against the wall the ladder is leaning on, I hear the sound of a door opening from below the ladder. Looking down, I see the lich director and Noona just entering the room.

"...Are you saying... you've already... finished the work...?"

"That friend up there will explain the details."

It seems Noona called him while I was taking a short break. As I clumsily climb down the ladder and look at the lich's face, his expression is half expectation, half worry. Still, I've done what I needed to do.

“Director. If I recall correctly, your request was to find the one problematic coffin among the 112, correct?”

"That's correct...."

“Well, after taking a look, I found not just one, but three problematic coffins.”

“…Is that so? Could you explain exactly how…?”

I had no idea what was specifically problematic with them. Rather than honestly answering that I don't know, I gave a more plausible excuse.

"To confirm that, we would need to open the coffins and check inside, would that be acceptable to you?”

“…That would be difficult… Opening the coffin would require… a complete reconstruction of the magic circle inside….”

So that’s why they couldn’t open the coffins.

From the start, it wasn't something I needed to explain. The request was to find the problematic coffins, not to figure out how they were problematic. If they wanted that, they should have called a mortician separately.

“In that case, while I can’t tell you exactly what’s wrong,, but... I’m certain that the coffins I marked are problematic.”

“Is that so...?”

“I’m certain.”

I’m not. Without opening them and checking the contents, there’s no way to be sure.

But we can't do that right now, and I just hope they don't think I did a half-assed job. The lich, who was staring at me intently with gray eyes, after a moment... smiled faintly.

"It seems... it was a very difficult... task..."

I almost threw up in the middle, is that visible?

I thought, but my forehead felt unusually cool. When I wiped it with my hand, it was drenched in sweat. The lich, with the same kind smile, picked up the tablet that had been placed on the floor and smoothly touched it with his thumb.

Then he handed it to me. I took it and checked the screen, and there was a large message saying 'Commission Completed'.

"Thank you for your hard work..."

It's done. When I touched the screen again, it switched to the first list screen full of requests. About 27 requests left. It hasn't decreased much compared to tens of minutes ago.

As I pondered my next move, the lich asked me a question.

“By the way… I'm curious... What kind of identification method did you use... May I ask...?"

“Oh… I’m sorry. The detection method is a bit complicated, so it’s difficult to explain here….”

Next to me, Noona stifled a laugh. Even I knew it was a pretty lame excuse.

“Ah... I understand....”

The lich director seemed little awkward himself, and smiled with a face full of fine wrinkles. Every time I meet his eyes, I feel it, but he has so many wrinkles. Just how old is he...

Wait a minute. Old?

“Director. Pardon me, but may I ask you something?”

“Yes... Go ahead....”

“Do you happen to recognize any of the places on this commission list?”

Being old could also mean he had a wealth of experience, right? I flipped the tablet around and handed it to the lich. After glancing at the first row, he murmured softly.

“Ancient language….”

“Yes.”

"Hmm... The first line seems to be... a pest control company..."

Pest control company? Cesco? Wouldn't I end up catching bugs if I go there? (Cesco is actual Korean pest control company.)

It didn’t feel right, so I skipped it. The other things the lich director recited in order were... a logistics center, which I can't do because I have very bad memories related to herniated discs (an illness) there. A watch specialty store, a chemical products store, a bank...

"A bank?"

“Yes....”

"Do you happen to know the location of that bank?"

“I believe… it’s not too far from here….”

Not far, and a bank. That's a white-collar job, isn't it? Compared to deadlifting sacks of rice or fiddling with precision watches, this seems like a hundred times better.

"That's number 37, and..."

While the director continued reciting the list, I asked Noona in the smallest voice possible.

"Noona, how about the bank?"

"Bank? A bank... No, I don't know what a bank would need you for. Counterfeit money?"

“Whatever it is, it’s probably better than loading and unloading stuff, right?”

“Hmm… looks like it’s gone….”

In the meantime, someone took another request. If I don't choose this, I might really end up loading and unloading later. After asking the director's permission for a moment, I took the tablet and pressed request number 37.

Then, what popped up was.

[Please deal with the bank ATM robber.]

No, why are they asking me to...











|Note

I seriously expecting him to took a convenience store commission hehe